虐戀社群一般在電話或互聯網上形成,互聯網上存在眾多以虐戀為主題的網站或社交網絡,例如美國的Fetlife。在互聯網以外,也有虐戀者結成公開社團開展活動,例如台灣的皮繩愉虐邦[17],而美國虐戀者亦會每年在加利福尼亞州三藩市市佛森街舉辦街頭遊行(Folsom Street Fair,FSF),是為全球最大的虐戀社群活動。[18]
虐戀活動就是虐戀的具體形式,在虐戀社群常稱作「調教」。虐戀活動有別於普通的性行為,需要特別的用具,也需要參與者擬定角色和稱呼、安全詞。有觀點將虐戀活動分為捆綁和懲戒(Bondage and discipline,BD)、支配和臣服(Dominance and submission,DS)、虐待(Sadomasochism,SM)三個類別,合稱即BDSM[24]。
SM vs. Abuse. ncsfreedom.org. [2012年1月26日]. (原始內容存檔於2012年2月6日) (英語). SM includes: "intimate activities within the scope of informed consent that is freely given." Abuse is: "Physical, sexual or emotional acts inflicted on a person without their informed and freely given consent."
Deborah Teramis Christian. BDSM Defined:An Exploration of Adult Sexuality and Lifestyles. teramis.com. [2012年1月26日]. (原始內容存檔於2021年1月25日) (英語). BDSM organizations have spent a great deal of thought defining ways in which SM differs from abuse, and creating checklists and information pamphlets elaborating on these attributes. Many of these items are works in progress, and some do not take into consideration all the varieties of behavior that are acceptable between consenting partners within the range of D/s relationships.
So What's With Switches, Anyway?. xeromag.com. 2011年11月2日 [2012年1月31日]. (原始內容存檔於2021年2月27日) (英語). What that means, in the simplest terms, is that I am neither 100% dominant nor 100% submissive. Rather, I have a dominant side, and a submissive side, and at different times I explore different aspects of dominance and submission.
About Folsom Street Events. Folsom Street Events. [2012年1月26日]. (原始內容存檔於2016年3月8日) (英語). Folsom Street Events is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization serving the adult San Francisco alternative communities. Through the production of street fairs, Folsom Street Events promotes diversity within the leather/alternative lifestyle, highlighting entertainment, service and vendors. Proceeds from the production of the fairs are distributed to organizations which promote a sense of community, diversity, cooperation, health and human services.
BDSM? What's with this bondage/sadomasochism stuff anyway?. Xeromag.com. 2011年10月31日 [2012年1月31日]. (原始內容存檔於2021年5月11日) (英語). "BDSM" is an acronym of "B&D" (Bondage & Discipline), "D&S" (Dominance & Submission), and "S&M" (sadomasochism). "BDSM" refers to any or all of these things, and a lot of stuff besides.
Bondage FAQ. Sub-Shop.com Adult Bondage & Fetish Superstore. [2012年1月31日]. (原始內容存檔於2012年2月29日) (英語). Always have a safeword or safe gesture if gagged. Words like "please" and "No!" are sometimes a part of the game - play safe and make sure you're not misunderstood.
Gags & Muzzles. sextoyvibe.com. [2012年1月31日]. (原始內容存檔於2011年2月16日) (英語). Ball and bit gags, muzzles, mouth opening fetish BDSM gear are used to restrict use of the mouth or the ability to talk. This section also includes penis gags, which are similar to ball gags except they are shaped like a penis head which is inserted into the mouth.
Bondage toys. bondage-guide.net. 2007年12月29日 [2012年1月31日]. (原始內容存檔於2012年2月7日) (英語). These are effective and comfortable bondage toys designed specially for BDSM games. Handcuffs and ankle cuffs are easy to put on and take off and keep sub in a necessary position. The common materials hand/ ankle cuffs are made of are metal and leather. metal cuffs require some care due to the fact that cuffs edges may cut circulation and cause some damage to the skin.
Nose Hook. nose-hook.net. [2012年1月31日]. (原始內容存檔於2020年11月9日) (英語). Nose Hook (or one word "Nosehook") - a japanese torture device that historically used to excruciation the slaves by hooking and pull their noses. This device is a small metall steel hook, that inserted from bottom to the nose, pulling up and gives long pain to tortured slave girl. Usually nose hook tied to the collar at the back of the neck. Now this device usually used in BDSM sex toy games - like nose rings or freak screw vise.
Collaring. bondage-guide.net. 2007年5月22日 [2012年1月31日]. (原始內容存檔於2012年2月7日) (英語). Deciding on collaring is a serious decision one should think over and negotiate with his partner about taking the responsibility. Collar is an outward image that has its deep meaning- a commitment with responsibilities, total trust and respect. A dom who collars sub makes him not simply his slave but also takes him under control. In its turn a sub entrusts himself completely to a dom becoming obedient to follow every order of his master.You may need to proceed from your collar of consideration status to a slave collar – a highest indication of your commitment to D/S lifestyle and your only owner. Once resolute about your relationship status and given master‛s permission, partners may arrange a collaring ceremony.
Leather Blindfolds For Bondage. BDSM Toys By Leather Etc. [2012年1月31日]. (原始內容存檔於2019年11月30日) (英語). A blindfold plays a unique role in bondage plays. Be it to block vision in the BDSM world or just to make sex a bit more fun, blindfolds can greatly enhance the moment in hand.
A Young Persons Guide to Chastity Belts. janthor.com. [2012年1月31日]. (原始內容存檔於2016年12月6日) (英語). Some people like to think of themself as being the possession of someone else, and other people like to think of other people as their possessions, and chastity belts do very much enforce the feeling of being the possession of someone else.
Sadomasochism. 世界衛生組織. [2012年1月27日]. (原始內容存檔於2014年11月2日) (英語). A preference for sexual activity which involves the infliction of pain or humiliation, or bondage. If the subject prefers to be the recipient of such stimulation this is called masochism; if the provider, sadism. Often an individual obtains sexual excitement from both sadistic and masochistic activities.