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Storks (film)
2016 American animated film From Wikiquote, the free quote compendium
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Storks is a 2016 American 3D computer-animated adventure buddy comedy film produced by Warner Animation Group, RatPac-Dune Entertainment and Stoller Global Solutions. It is directed by Nicholas Stoller and Doug Sweetland (in his feature debut) and written by Stoller.
The film premiered in Los Angeles on September 17, 2016 and was released by Warner Bros. Pictures on September 23, 2016 in 3D, IMAX and conventional formats.
The film was released with a Lego Ninjago short called The Master starring Master Wu and Chicken.
Find your flock.(taglines)
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Junior
- [first lines of the film; narrating] For as long as can be remembered, storks delivered babies... [We see the tower called "Stork Mountain" as the storks fly out to deliver babies] From their perch on Stork Mountain. [We see clouds as a silhouette stork is flying] It was an honor and a privilege to serve. [We see a stork flying while holding a blonde-haired brown skinned baby with a white blanket] It was our duty, our core belief the driving force of our very lifeblood.
- If anyone finds out about this, I am dead meat! My hopes of becoming boss (will be) destroyed (for good)!
- [to the penguins; as he and Tulip prepares for a battle] Put down that baby!
- An annoying person asked me once why I want to be boss. Well, I never knew why until today. Baby delivery is our true calling. This is not just a bunch of metal and glass and whatever that giant magical crystal thing is made out of. This is the heart of what Storks were put on this earth to do. This is our mission. We pride ourselves on customer service. Well this is a family that never got the baby they asked for. Make a plan. Stick to the plan. Always deliver!
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Tulip
- Tulip is fine. Orphan hurts my heart.
- I want to see the baby.
- You don't? [laughing with Junior] All right, you laugh when you're uncomfortable. Am I pushing your buttons?
Dialogue
- Policeman: This is not code.
- Nate: [Henry and Sarah gasps] What?!
- Policeman: It's all have come down.
- Junior: [Hunter opens the door; gasps] Hunter?
- Hunter: You're fired. Policeman is dead!
- Junior: [stammers] But, but-but-but...
- Hunter: [mockingly] “But, but-but-but-but…” You are so idiotic. How were you not suspicious? [the screen zooms out to a fake house in front of two warehouses]
- Junior: Random
- Junior: Excuse me! Orphan Tulip?
- Tulip: Junior, you're talking to me?
- Junior: Yes, Orphan Tulip!
- Tulip: No, it's ju- Uh, it's just that you never talk to me.
- Junior: Well, yeah, that's changing starting today, Orphan Tulip.
- Tulip: Oh, uh, Tulip is just fine, Orphan hurts my heart.
- [Junior smacks into a glass pathway]
- Junior: My old nemesis: glass!
- Tulip: [gasps] Birds can't see glass!
- Tulip: Look at the baby!
- Junior: NO! Just a brief exposure to baby cuteness can ruin your life!
- [both look at the baby]
- Tulip, Junior: Awww!
- Hunter: Junior, I saved this company by getting out of babies and into package delivery. Monday, it'll all be yours, barring some monumental screw-up...
- Junior: Storks don't deliver babies anymore! If anyone finds out about this, I am dead meat!
- Hunter: Junior, you know why I built my office entirely out of glass even though birds can't see glass?
- [birds fly smack into the glass]
- Tulip: If this baby finds her family, then maybe I can find mine.
- Junior: Put down THAT BABY!
- Penguin: Shhh!
- [points out Diamond Destiny is asleep; a silent fight starts]
- Alpha Wolf: I'm gonna devour this thing!
- [wolves start licking the Diamond Destiny's face lovingly; she giggles with delight]
- Toady: [seeing white powder on the floor] Powduh? [brushes some into the air, tastes a bit of the powder] Baby Powduh!
- Tulip: [singing] Baby, what are we gonna call you, baby? This is crazy! We're delivering a baby!
- Junior: No, we're delivering a package. Maybe we should name it instead of calling the package. We do not name the package, OK? We make a plan, stick to the plan, always deliver. And we get back to Storkcon, so, the board can name me boss.
- Nate and Henry: Five more minutes and then we stop.
- Sarah: [shocked] What?!
- Nate and Henry: Five more minutes...
- Sarah: [offscreen] No! [As Henry accidentally throws a sledge hammer away, crashes] That's our chimney, you're gonna destroy the whole roof?!
- Nate: Mom, we have to replace the chimney with a slide for when the storks deliver my baby brother.
- Henry: What he said.
- Sarah: No. Don't be crazy. You cannot do the chimney. Come on, don't make me the mean mom.
- Nate: Dads are fun, moms are mean.
- Henry: I heard that!
- Sarah: Parent conference. [As she pinched Henry's ear]
- Henry: Pinching.
- Sarah: Henry, people are gonna think we're crazy. We need to tell him.
- Henry: Tell him what? What, to go watch more TV? This is the best time I've had with Nate in my life. I actually feel like a dad again.
- Sarah: And when no baby brother shows up?
- Henry: Well, then we tell him. We can get a new chimney, but we'll never be able to replace this time with Nate. And if we put those headsets back on, how old will Nate be when we take them off again?
- Nate: I'm not a jerky teen yet. Fleeting moments, precious memories.
- Alpha Wolf: Wolf Pack, form a wolf submarine!
- [the pack make themselves into a submarine... then come up for air]
- [Junior, Tulip and Diamond get across a bridge and cut it so that the Wolf Pack can't get across]
- Junior: Suck it, wolves!
- Alpha Wolf: Wolf Pack, form a wolf bridge!
- Junior: What is happening?
- Tulip: The wolves are forming a suspension bridge.
- Junior: How is that possible?
- Tulip: I don't know.
- Alpha Wolf: If you don't give us that baby, we're gonna eat you!
- Beta Wolf: We're gonna eat you anyway!
- Alpha Wolf: You don't say it; you make the deal and then you eat them anyway!
- Beta Wolf: Got it. We're not gonna eat you!
- Alpha Wolf: Well now it's too late!
- Alpha Wolf: Wolf pack, form a wolf plane!
- [the pack makes a plane... which falls apart in the air]
- Junior: That's insane! You need to deliver her!
- Hunter: We can't let it get out that we accidentally made a baby!
- Hunter: [takes the Diamond Destiny] Don't worry, she's gonna be fine. She's with penguins. There are whole documentaries about how great they are at baby-sitting!
- Toady: [shows Junior a picture of a Goose on his phone] Check out my girlfriend! She's in Canada!
- Junior: Yeah huh.
- Toady: She migrated, she's not made up.
- Junior: Okay.
- Toady: [waving his phone around] Look at her, look at her! She exists, brah!
- Junior: That's great.
- Junior: We're not like a family; we're just a guy and girl trying to raise a baby.
- Tulip: Why do you want to be boss?
- Junior: I know.
- Tulip: You don't? [laughing with Junior] All man, you laugh when you're uncomfortable.
- Junior: [laughing] No.
- Tulip: Am I pushing your buttons?
- Junior: Uh, no.
- Tulip: Yes, I am.
- Junior: Nah, no.
- Tulip: [laughing] Beep, beep, Boop, boop, beep, beep...
- Junior: No, those aren't even where my buttons would be if I had buttons.
- Tulip: Beep, beep, boop, boop...
- Junior: Nice try.
- Tulip: [robotic voice] I am programming you to tell me why you want to be boss.
- Junior: [robotic voice] I love robots, so this is fun.
- Tulip: Beep, beep, boop, boop...
- Junior: We're having a good time together.
- Tulip: Why do you want to be boss, why do you want to be boss, why do you want to be boss?
- Junior: BACK OFF!!!
- Tulip: AAAAAAGH!! [Junior gets Tulip back on the plane after her hat and goggles blew off]
- Junior: Wow! Well, that was funny. You almost died. I guess the lesson we learned today is... don't ask me why I want to be boss, right? [chuckles] Okay, good talk.
- Nate: [plays the guitar and sings "Never Forget"]
- Henry: Nate, how many times I told you not play the musicians?
- Sarah: Put the guitar away.
- Nate: Oh, great.
- Sarah and Henry: Nate, you going to be deliver baby.
- Henry: Nate, you might to stork in delivered babies.
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Taglines
- From the studio that delivered The Lego Movie and Happy Feet.
- A bundle of trouble is coming.
- Find your flock.
Cast
- Kelsey Grammer as Hunter
- Andy Samberg as Junior
- Katie Crown as Tulip
- Keegan-Michael Key as Alpha Wolf
- Jordan Peele as Beta Wolf
- Anton Starkman as Nate Gardner
- Jennifer Aniston as Sarah Gardner
- Ty Burrell as Henry Gardner
- Stephen Kramer Glickman as Pigeon Toady
- Danny Trejo as Jasper
- Chris Smith as Dougland
- Awkwafina as Quail
- Jorma Taccone, Ike Barinholtz and Amanda Lund as Miscellaneous Storks
External links
| Feature films | Storks (2016) |
| Short films | Pigeon Toady’s Guide to Your New Baby (2016) |
| Feature films | Animated films | Storks (2016) · The Lego Batman Movie (2017) · Smallfoot (2018) · Scoob! (2020) · DC League of Super-Pets (2022) | |
| Live action animated films | The Lego Movie (2014) · The Lego Ninjago Movie (2017) · The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (2019) · Tom & Jerry (2020) · Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021) | ||
| Short films | The Master (2016) · Pigeon Toady's Guide to Your New Baby (2016) · Dark Hoser (2017) · Batman is Just Not That Into You (2017) · Cooking with Alfred (2017) · Movie Sound Effects: How Do They Do That? (2017) · Super Soozie (2018) | ||
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