SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.
Single-Celled Defense [14.1a]
Sandy: Congratulations, Plankton. But remember, this technique is to be used [points] strictly for self-defense.
Plankton: Oh, of course, Sensei Sandy. [leans in] Uh, wink? [takes off gi] Buh-bye! [laughs]
[Sandy stares ahead with a blank expression.]
SpongeBob: Uh, Sandy? [zoom out to show Sandy standing on him] Could you give me a ride to the hospital?
Sandy: Whoops! [steps off him] Oh, sure, SpongeBob. Heh-heh.
Mr. Krabs: Bad news for you, Plankton. [gets closer to Plankton's face] I don't have any feet!
Plankton: [stunned] You what? [A close-up on Mr. Krabs' feet is shown, but they are very messy. The right foot has plasters and grease, while the left foot has barnacles and grease. A foghorn plays in the background.] Just my luck, I guess.
Plankton: [sighs] Six to eight weeks before I can attack the Krusty Krab again. Oh, well. At least I'm not in traction anymore. [a wheelchair wheel rolls over him] Augh!
[Sandy is pushing a bandaged SpongeBob in a wheelchair.]
SpongeBob: Oh, boy! Only six to eight weeks before I can work at the Krusty Krab again! [Sandy pushes him forward]
Plankton: Ouch! Ka-ra-tay is a pain in the-- [gets squished against the road] ouch!
Buff for Puff [14.1b]
Mr. Krabs: Hey there, ma'am. [raises sunglasses] Is this beach taken? [winks]
Mrs. Puff: Oh, my. Eugene, you're so well-defined. [sees Mr. Krabs has left] Eugene?
[Pan over to Mr. Krabs surrounded by cheering beachgoers.]
Mr. Krabs: Take a look. [shows off muscles] These are called gains, people. [flexes butt] Yeah. [strains]
We Heart Hoops [14.2a]
SpongeChovy [14.2b]
Realistic Fish Head: [off-screen; the words slide on screen] Breaking News. [the words shatter]
Gale Doppler: I'm Gale Doppler with the big weather. And I'd like to report it's sunny skies for Bikini Bottom. But not today, [a map of the ocean slides behind him] cause there's a storm warning coming at ya. [an animated image group of faux-chovies is shown] We got a gust of faux-chovies coming in from the southwest. Now with [pokes his eye] a closer look, here's our man on the street, Rube Goldfish!
Rube: Thanks, Gale! I'm here with the faux-chovies that are causing all this meep-abaloo. Now I just have to ask the question everyone wants to know. What in the world does "meep" mean? [The faux-chovies surround circle Rube and turn him into a faux-chovy. rises from the middle of the circle] A-meep-ing!
Gale Doppler: Haha, thanks Rube! So if you don't wanna turn into an anchovy today, you're advised to stay indoors until that faux-chovy pressure system [pushes the faux-chovy group image] moves away. Haha. [the image comes back] Huh? [the image jumps at Gale] Whoa! [he falls down and when he gets up, he has the shape of a faux-chovy and his eyes become strabismus] Haha, meep!
Hans: [opens the roof to the Krusty Krab and meeping is heard, and he has a box of pizza] Pizza delivery!
Anchovies and faux-chovies: Huh? [they move out of the way and the box drops in the middle of them]
Anchovies: Pizza?! [runs away back to the bus and it drives away]
Faux-chovies: [smells the pizza] Mmmmm!
SpongeBob: Mmmm, that smells good! [turns back into himself] Boing!
[Everyone else turns back into themselves.]
Mr. Krabs: [walks to SpongeBob] Phew! I thought we'd never snap out of that faux-chovy thing!
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs! I didn't realize how easy it is to get swept up into a meep mentality!
Mr. Krabs: It's not your fault, boy-o. We're just lucky that pizza is the anchovies' natural enemy!
Rube: Yeah, whoever ordered that pie saved our lives! [he, Lady Upturn, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl open the box of pizza]
SpongeBob: And we shouldn't let it go to waste! [Patrick rubs his palms together] It's still hot!
Patrick: Oh-ho-ho-ho! [runs to the box and picks up a slice, walks away, and it falls on him] What? No anchovies?
BassWard [14.3a]
Squidward: Thanks for the ride!
Bubble Bass: [holding up egg salad sandwich] And the egg salad sandwiches. [shoves the sandwich into his mouth]
Old Man Jenkins: You folks are lucky! I was just heading into the city to pick up the new Farmer's Almanac!
Bubble Bass: To celebrate, I think I will have another one of those sandwiches. [reaches down into his seat]
Squidward: Whoa! You just ate!
Bubble Bass: I can almost reach. [plane bends]
Squidward: Whoa!
[The plane forms a crack in the middle.]
Old Man Jenkins: Stop shaking the plane or I'll pull this thing right over! [The plane breaks in half, and the back half with Squidward and Bubble Bass falls off.] Thank you. Much better.
Squidiot Box [14.3b]
Squidward: [opens door] Hey! [walks over to yell] Get off my sand! [falls into box] Whoa! [thumping and yelling] What's happening? Where am I?
Blood is Thicker Than Grease [14.4a]
Don't Make Me Laugh [14.4b]
Momageddon [14.5a]
Margaret: [humming] Order up for Old Man Jenkins. One Krabby Patty with crust removed and one side salad.
Old Man Jenkins: I ordered fries, not a salad!
Margaret: The fries are in the salad.
Old Man Jenkins: Okay, I'll try it. [takes it] But only 'cause I'm so hungry. [tastes it, spins around and is now wearing a kid outfit] Aha!
Customers: Ooh!
Old Man Jenkins: It reminds me of my mother's cooking when I was but a boy. I'm filled with childish glee! [giggles and skips away]
Pet the Rock [14.5b]
[The scene bubble wipes to SpongeBob walking Gary to the pet park. He shows Gary to a guard.]
Guard: [removes sunglasses] Huh. Alright, go on through. [SpongeBob and Gary walk into the park, then Patrick walks to the entrance. stops Patrick with his hand while in a goofy position] Hold it right there! I'm gonna need to see some proof of pet.
Patrick: Of course! [holds up his "pet," which is just a rock]
Guard: [takes off his sunglasses] That's a rock.
Patrick: Yeah! His name is Rolly!
Guard: I don't see how this thing is a pet?
Patrick: [tosses Rolly onto the guard's face] Oh, here! Take a closer look! [Rolly rolls off the guards face, and the guard falls down.]
Guard: Oh, yes, he's adorable! Go right in! [face falls flat]
Tango Tangle [14.6a]
Karen: Wow, your hips are so hip. You got your work cut out for you, Sheldon.
Plankton: My hips can't do that.
Suzie: Of course they can. You got to force them to do it. [holds onto Plankton and Karen] The tango is physical, [dances with Karen] emotional, and most importantly, [pushes the two out of the way] aggressive.
Plankton and Karen: What?
Plankton: Aggressive? [grinning evilly with Karen] Now you're talking my language.
Karen: Yeah, we speak fluent aggression.
Suzie: Good. Tap into that aggression and put it in your [flexes arm] hips. Now, abrazo. [slams hands together] Embrace!
Plankton and Karen: [grabbing onto each other] Abrazo.
Necro-Nom-Nom-Nom-I-Con [14.6b]
Evil Witch: [reading the directions on Mr. Krabs' cookbook] A cup of milk? Two eggs? A loaf of bread? And kelp sugar? Eh, all right. [puts the ingredients in a cauldron] Shoo. [a plate of French toast floats up] French toast? [taps her wand in the green substance and hash browns, quiche, and huevos rancheros float up] Hash browns? Quiche? Huevos rancheros? What the heck? What's wrong with this blasted spellbook? [grabs the cookbook and reads the name] "Uncle Jimmy's Breakfast Magic"? It's a cookbook! Oh... I better find out who got my spell book, and fast. [the plate of quiche bumps into her arm] Huh? Right [the wand transforms into a fork] after I finish my quiche.
[Bubble transition back to inside the Krusty Krab, where the customers are still in the breakfast transformations with SpongeBob, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs in worry.]
Squidward: Why is this happening?
SpongeBob: Maybe all the weird stuff I've been cooking caused all of this. [Squidward looks at him unamused, and SpongeBob chuckles nervously] Would explain the [the Necronomicon book flies out the order window] cauldron too. [points to the Necronomicon flying] And the flying cookbook.
[The cookbook flies to the front of the restaurant and emits a green light, which grabs various breakfast items to create a body.]
SpongeBob: [as the cookbook forms the items into a body]'" The cookbook is using tasty breakfast treats to create a monster!
[The cookbook roars and everyone in the restaurant screams. The Evil Witch appears with a purple cloud emit.]
Evil Witch: Oh, so this is where my spell book went.
[The breakfast monster kicks barrels and a table away, breaks off another table and throws it at SpongeBob, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs - which they duck.]
Mr. Krabs: Ooh, a customer! Take her order, Squidward.
Evil Witch: Uh, thanks, but I couldn't eat another bite! [belches] I'm here to swap books with ya. I think my spell book got mixed with your cookbook.
PL-1413 [14.7a]
Future Karen: [phases through the Chrome Bucket as a chrome orb] Sheldon, welcome home.
Plankton: Karen, is that you? I see you've had some work done.
Future Karen: Uh-huh. And that's not the only work I've been doing.
Plankton: Ooh. [rubbing hands] Have you completed some kind of deadly destructive robot?
Future Karen: Negative. [displays an easel] I have been working on my art pieces. [sprays a gray background with two squiggly lines] I'm quite successful, in fact. [A couple appears.]
Wife: Oh, honey, [pointing] this would match the couch in the living room.
Husband: We'll [holds up chrome money] take it. [Future Karen takes the money, then the couple walk off with the painting]
In the Mood to Feud [14.7b]
Pa Narwhal: [pointing] Say, man, is that pink city slicker with you? [Patrick is sucking up an entire tree, swallows, and sighs to let out a bumble jelly] He sure is brave.
SpongeBob: Brave?
Ma Narwhal: Yup. The only reason the bumble jellies let us collect their jelly is because we allow 'em to sting us. [knocks over her husband, laughs]
Sandy: You let them sting you?
Ma Narwhal: [shows off her sting-covered arm] Darn tootin'!
Mooned! [14.8a]
Kevin: I'm not really sure about you [fixes his glasses] finally catching your own jellyfish, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: I'll catch a jellyfish, [holds his net to the sky] no matter how it'll take! I'm gonna become the new leader of the Jellyspotters!
Hysterical History [14.8b]
The Dirty Bubble Bass [14.12a]
Dirty Bubble: Yes! I'm free!
Bubble Bass: The Dirty Bubble!
Dirty Bubble: You chewing that crusty gum has freed me from Mermaid Man's bubblegum trap! What's your name, my bulbous buddy?
Bubble Bass: B-B-Bubble Bass?
Dirty Bubble: What a perfect name for my new sidekick. Or should I say, in-sidekick? [swallows Bubble Bass and the tub whole, then spits out the tub, screaming, stretching in the Dirty Bubble] Let me out! [laughs as he retracts to fit Bubble Bass' shape] Oh! As a reward for releasing me, you're my new partner in crime.
'Mama Bass: [opens bathroom door while holding a basket of laundry] What's going on in--? Huh? Bubble Bass! You're even filthier than before you took a bath!
Bubble Bass: It's not my fault, Mother. I'm trapped inside this foul felon!
Sheldon SquarePants [14.12b]
SpongeBob: I'm ready to share my deepest, most secretest secret! I swore I'd never tell it to anyone. Oh, but I'm nervous. Could you go first?
Plankton: Of course. Anything for my brother. Eh.... I put on a gruff exterior because I don't want the world to hurt me. But deep down, I'm afraid I'll push everyone away and end up alone.
SpongeBob: [is sad, but calms down] Well, thanks very much for sharing that, little brother! Now it's my turn. [inhales deeply] No one is supposed to know this, but... but...
Plankton: Yes? [holds out pen and notepad] Yes?!
SpongeBob: My tie! It's... [rips his necktie off revealing a clip underneath]A CLIP-ON!!!
Plankton: I knew it! ...Wait, what?
SpongeBob: I never learned how to tie a tie! Look at it! Look at it! Look your eyes upon my accursed shame![hyperventilates; calms down] Whew, sure felt good to get that off my chest.
[pause]
Plankton: That's it? THAT'S YOUR SECRET!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!??
SpongeBob: Yep, that was it! Wait, are you upset?
Plankton: You're darn right I am! You were supposed to tell me the secret formula! Nobody cares about your tie!
SpongeBob: The secret formula? That's what you wanted to hear? Oh, I can't share that! It's locked in my brain box.
Harold: Well, the only thing responsible parents can do--making our child someone else's problem. [places Plankton in the basket, then he and Margaret take off]
SpongeBob: [waving] Bye, Plankton. I really liked having you as a brother.
Plankton: Yeah, well, I hated every minute--
[Harold puts a pacifier in his mouth, which he sucks on, Margaret places Plankton in the basket in front of the Star family house, rings the doorbell, then he and Margaret quickly leave]
Bunny: [answers the front door with Cecil] Why, look, Cecil! It's a baby boy.
Cecil: Fantastic! I've always wanted our son to have a brother. Oh, Patrick!
Patrick: [opens the top window and jumps out of it, taking Plankton with him] All right! Let's play checkers! [spits out a checkerboard and hits Plankton against the board repeatedly] Checkers! Checkers! Checkers!
Plankton: Ouch! Ow!
Patrick: [giggles]
Plankton: [injured] Oh, brother.
Tom Kenny as SpongeBob, French Narrator, Old Man Walker, Male Customer #2, Male Dancer #2, Dancers, Customers, Kid Beachgoer, Gym Bros, Beachgoers, Fans
Clancy Brown as Mr. Krabs, Male Customer #1, Gym Bros, Beachgoers, Fans
Carolyn Lawrence as Sandy, Female Customer #1, Dancers, Customers, Female Beachgoer, Volleyball Girl, Beachgoers, Fans
Mr. Lawrence as Plankton, Fred, Dancers, Customers, Larry the Lobster, Volleyball Guy
Dee Bradley Baker as Bubble Bass, Shady Guy, Male Dancer #1, Dancers, Customers, Craig Mammalton
Jill Talley as Karen, Lady, Customers
Rodger Bumpass as Fondue Man, Gym Bros, Beachgoers, Fans
Mary Jo Catlett as Mrs. Puff
Sirena Irwin as Mo, Female Spotter, Beachgoers, Fans