1998 film by Wes Anderson From Wikiquote, the free quote compendium
All's fair when love is war.
Rushmore is a 1998 film about Max, a self-described genius who, although on academic probation, excels in every extracurricular activity available at Rushmore Academy. A love triangle then develops between Max, a wealthy industrialist, and one of Max's teachers.
My top schools where I want to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne. But my safety's Harvard.
Maybe I'm spending too much of my time starting up clubs and putting on plays. I should probably be trying harder to score chicks. That's all anyone really cares about.
I saved Latin. What did you ever do?
[Introducing his play "Heaven and Hell"] Also, you'll find a pair of safety glasses and some earplugs under your seats. Please feel free to use them.
[to Dr. Peter] I was punched in the face. What's your excuse?
[to Rosemary] So we both have dead people in our families.
[to Rosemary] I'm sorry, I just came by to thank you for WRECKING MY LIFE!
Well, tell that stupid mick he just made my list of things to do today.
I wrote a hit play!
[to Rosemary] Rushmore was my life, now you are.
You think I got kicked out for just the aquarium? Nah, it was the handjob. And you wanna know something else? It was worth it.
[to Rosemary] Sic transit gloria. Glory fades. I'm Max Fischer....
[Speech to the students of Rushmore Academy] You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.
Mmm, I'm a little bit lonely these days
Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I would have sons like these.
Kids don't like it when their parents get divorced.
[Describing Max to the police] 112 pounds. Black hair. Glasses... Oval face.
She's sweet, but she's fucked up.
Did Max have something planned for us today? A trip to a museum or something?
Oh yeah and with friends like you who needs friends?
[On a walkie-talkie] There's action across the street. [static] It's Snowman! Take him!
[to Max] I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I threw rocks at you that day.
...I knew for sure when they went skinny-dipping in Mr. Blume's pool while giving eachother handjobs...
You're a married man, Blume.
I'm not even here right now, I'm in Cheyenne Wyoming.
Magnus Buchan: I always wanted to be in one of your fuckin' plays.
Bert Fischer: [to Herman] Are you fond of that moustache?
Mr. Littlejeans: Best play ever, man.
Rosemary: Nihil Sanctisne?, Is nothing sacred?
Found on Max Fischer's Mother's Grave Stone: All paths of glory lead but to the grave.
Found in the book Diving for Sunken Treasure: When one man, for whatever the reason, has the ability to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself.
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: We're putting you on what we call sudden death academic probation.
Max Fischer: And what does that entail?
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: It entails that if you fail another class, you'll be asked to leave Rushmore.
Max Fischer: In other words, I'll be expelled.
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: That's correct.
Max Fischer: Can I see some documentation on that, please?
[Guggenheim hands him his transcript]
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: Too many extracurricular activities, Max. Not enough studying.
Max Fischer: Dr. Guggenheim, I don't want to tell you how to do your job. But the fact is, no matter how hard I try, I still might flunk another class. If that means I have to stay on for a post-graduate year, so be it...
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: - We don't offer a post-graduate year.
Max Fischer: Well, we don't offer it yet.
Max Fischer: What was your major?
Rosemary Cross: I didn't have a major, but my thesis was on Latin American economic policy.
Max Fischer: Oh, that's interesting. Did you hear that they're not going to teach Latin anymore?
Rosemary Cross: This was more like Central America.
Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer: Oh, are they?
Herman Blume: What's the secret, Max?
Max Fischer: The secret?
Herman Blume: Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out.
Max Fischer: The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest of your life. For me, it's going to Rushmore.
Max Fischer: So you were in Vietnam?
Herman Blume: Yeah.
Max Fischer: Were you in the shit?
Herman Blume: Yeah, I was in the shit.
Herman Blume: Dirk?
Dirk: I know about you and the teacher.
Herman Blume: Does Max know?
Dirk: No, and I don't want him to know, ever. I just want it to stop right now. You're a married man, Blume. You're supposed to be his friend.
Herman Blume: Look Dirk, I am his friend.
Dirk: Oh yeah, and with friends like you who needs friends? (spits on Herman's car)
Max Fischer: The truth is, neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationship is going. We can't predict the future.
Rosemary Cross: We don't have a relationship.
Max Fischer: But we're friends.
Rosemary Cross: Yes, and that's all we're going to be. Well, yes...
Max Fischer: That's all I meant by "relationship." You want me to grab a dictionary?
Herman Blume: She's my Rushmore, Max.
Max Fischer: I know. She was mine too.
Max Fischer: How the hell did you get so rich? You're a quitter, man!
Herman Blume: I spent eight million dollars on this.
Max Fischer: And is that all you're willing to spend?
Max Fischer: So tell me Curly, how do you know Miss Cross?
Dr. Peter Flynn: We went to Harvard together.
Max Fischer: Oh that's great. I wrote a hit play and directed it, so I'm not sweating it either.
Ernie: What kind of fish?
Max Fischer: Barracuda, stingrays, electric eels, trout, hammerheads, piranha, giant squid, octopi...
Herman Blume: Piranhas? Really?
Max Fischer: Yes, I'm talking to a guy in South America.
Max Fischer: How much are you worth, by the way?
Herman Blume: I don't know.
Max Fischer: Over ten million?
Herman Blume: Yeah, I guess so.
Max Fischer: Good, good.
Herman Blume: Why?
Max Fischer: Cause we're gonna need all of it.
[Max has just petitioned to make Latin a required subject]
Magnus Buchan: [heavy Scottish brogue] Why dincha just piss off, Fischer? Ya dotty wee skid mark!
Max Fischer: Is that Latin?
Architect: Mr. Blume, how are Ronny and Donny enjoying military school?
Herman Blume: They love it.
Magnus Buchan: Lucky bastards.
Dr. Peter Flynn: I understand you're a neurosurgeon.
Bert Fischer: No, I'm a barber, but a lot of people make that mistake.
Rosemary Cross: That's none of your business.
Max Fischer: I know it's not, but I just got hit by a car and I'm feeling a little confused.
Rosemary Cross: [tending a wound on Max's forehead] Is this fake blood?
Max Fischer: Yes, it is.
Rosemary Cross: I'll show you the door.
Max Fischer: I'll just go back out the window.
Rosemary Cross: How did I hurt your feelings?
Max Fischer: Oh, my God! I wrote a hit play! [pause] And I'm in love with you.
Rosemary Cross: Has it ever crossed your mind that you're far too young for me?
Max Fischer: It crossed my mind that you might consider that a possibility, yeah.
Rosemary Cross: Do you think we're going to have sex?
Max Fischer: That's a kinda cheap way to put it.
Rosemary Cross: Not if you've ever fucked before, it isn't.
Dr. Peter Flynn: [To Rosemary] I didn't know we were going to dinner.
Max Fischer: Well, that's because you weren't invited.
Max Fischer: Your mind's as warped as your ear, Buchan.
Magnus Buchan: Don't get nasty, brother.
Herman Blume: Why did you ask me to come here?
Max Fischer: Oh, I was going to drop that tree on you.
Herman Blume: That big one?
Max Fischer: Yeah.
Herman Blume: It would've flattened me like a pancake.
Max Fischer: And I’m going to stick a knife in his heart. And I’m going to send him back to Ireland in a bodybag.
Tommy: He's from Scotland.
Max Fischer: Well, tell that stupid mick he just made my list of things to do today. I’m going to pop a cap in his ass.
Max Fischer: I don't give a shit about the barracudas, fuck it! I'm building it anyway.
Max Fischer: You're supposed to say, “Forget about it, Sanchez" ,The old man likes his canoli' lines-
Frank: I made a mistake, all right? It doesn’t make any difference, anyway.
Max Fischer: Hey, I'm letting it go. But don't tell me it doesn't matter. Every line matters.
Frank: Get off my back!
Max Fischer: Don't fuck with my play!
Herman Blume: Come work for me.
Max Fischer: What do you mean?
Herman Blume: I mean I-I could use someone like you.
Max Fischer: Look, I may not be rich, Mr. Blume, my father may only be a doctor, but we manage.
Herman Blume: So you've changed your mind and you want the job.
Max Fischer: No, I've got an idea and I need some money.
Bert Fischer: You're like one of those clipper ship captains. You're married to the sea.
Max Fischer: Yes, that's true. [pause] But I've been out to sea for a long time.
Herman Blume: How much money do you want?
Max Fisher: Thirty five thousand dollars, for the initial plans.