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Mad Men (2007 – 2015) is an American television drama created by Matthew Weiner. The show centers around an advertising agency in the 1960s, and its creative director, Don Draper. The show is broadcast in the United States on the AMC network.
Public Relations [4.01]
- Roger: A wooden leg. They're so cheap they can't even afford a whole reporter.
- Roger: I love how they sit there like a couple of choirboys. You know one of them's leaving New York with VD.
- Peggy: [to Don] You know something. We are all here because of you. All we want to do is please you.
- Henry: [about not yet selling the house] Don, it's temporary.
- Don: Believe me, Henry, everyone thinks this is temporary.
- Roger: [about Bethany Van Nuys] You hit it off, come Turkey Day, maybe you can stuff her.
Christmas Comes But Once a Year [4.02]
- Allison: Good time? Bad time?
- Don: Yes.
- Lane: What about our other clients?
- Roger: We have no other clients! If Lee Garner, Jr. wants three wise men flown in from Jerusalem, he gets it.
- Don: I don't hate Christmas. I hate this Christmas.
- Don: How can you stand going to the hospital every day?
- Phoebe: I love working at the hospital. People comin’ into the world, people leavin’ it. Everything happens there.
- Faye: In a nutshell, it all comes down to what I want versus what’s expected of me.
The Good News [4.03]
- Don: We're going to the movies.
- Lane: Do you think we should?
- Don: Does Howdy Doody have a wooden dick?
- Stephanie: So I’d say Laura was the worst roommate. She had a nervous breakdown. One morning she’s reading the Bible instead of her Psych book. The next morning she woke me up, leaning over me with this crazy smile, and said, ‘Morning, Stephanie. Have you heard the Good News?’
- Anna: There are worse things.
- Don: No there aren’t.
- Don: I could tell, the minute she saw who I really was, she never wanted to look at me again. Which is why I never told her.
- Anna: Oh, Dick. I’m sorry she broke your heart.
- Don: I had it coming.
- Anna: I started thinking of everything I was sure was true, and how flimsy it all might be.
- Don: You don’t have to see a UFO to know that. But it’s not a great way to think about things.
- Anna: I know everything about you and I still love you.
- Don: She is very important to me. I’m going to do what I have to.
- Patty: You have no say in the affairs of this family. You’re just a man in a room with a checkbook. I’m sorry.
The Rejected [4.04]
- Don: [holding up a bottle] Why is this empty?
- Allison: Because you drank it all.
- Peggy: [after Joyce kisses her] I have a boyfriend.
- Joyce: He doesn't own your vagina.
- Peggy: No, but he's renting it.
- Freddy: [about a focus group] Can you imagine? Your financial future is in the hands of a room full of 22 year old girls.
- Don: Not mine.
The Chrysanthemum and the Sword [4.05]
- Roger: Since when is forgiveness a better quality than loyalty?
- Hachi Saito: [in Japanese, about the well-endowed Joan] How does she not fall over?
- Joan: Not very subtle, are they?
- Akira Takahashi: No, they are not.
- Don: Chaough said he's in my rear-view mirror. Well, guess what? I'm gonna make a left turn - right off a cliff.
Waldorf Stories [4.06]
- Peggy: Have you been yelled at by Don yet?
- Stan: I'm not scared of him.
- Peggy: So that's a no.
- Roger: They don't seem to give awards for what I do.
- Joan: And what is that?
- Roger: [about Don] Find guys like him.
- Stan: [to Peggy, about Don] I know you're his favorite. I bet he takes you hunting and lets you carry the carcasses in your mouth.
The Suitcase [4.07]
- Don: It's your job. I give you money, you give me ideas.
- Peggy: And you never say thank you.
- Don: That's what the money is for! You should be thanking me every morning when you wake up, along with Jesus, for giving you another day!
- Don: My Uncle Mac said he had a suitcase that was always packed. He said a man has to be ready to go at any moment. Jesus, maybe it's a metaphor.
- Peggy: I mean, I know what I'm supposed to want, but it just never feels right, or as important as anything in that office.
- Don: [about her pregnancy] Do you ever think about it?
- Peggy: I try not to, but then it comes up out of nowhere. [She pauses] Playgrounds.
- Peggy: What happened?
- Don: Somebody very important to me died.
- Peggy: Who?
- Don: The only person in the world who really knew me.
- Peggy: That’s not true.
The Summer Man [4.08]
- Don: [voice-over] People tell you who they are, but we ignore it - because we want them to be who we want them to be.
- Don: [voice-over] When a man walks into a room, he brings his whole life with him. He has a million reasons for being anywhere. Just ask him. If you listen, he’ll tell you how he got there. How he forgot where he was going - then, he woke up. If you listen, he’ll tell you about the time he thought he was an angel and dreamt of being perfect. And then he’ll smile, with wisdom, content that he realized the world isn’t perfect. We’re flawed because we want so much more. We’re ruined because we get these things and wish for what we had.
- Joan: [to Peggy] No matter how powerful we get around here, they can still just draw a cartoon. So all you've done is prove to them that I'm a meaningless secretary, and you're another humorless bitch.
- Don: [to Peggy] You want some respect? Go out there and get it for yourself.
- Joan: You're so arrogant.
- Joey: Me? What do you do around here besides walking around like you're trying to get raped?
- Joan: Excuse me?
- Joey: I'm not some young girl off the bus. I don't need some madame from a Shanghai whorehouse to show me the ropes.
The Beautiful Girls [4.09]
- Roger: [to Joan] Every time I think back, all the good stuff was with you.
- Bert: ( on Ida's death ): She was born in 1898 in a barn. She died on the 37th floor of a skyscraper. She was an astronaut.
- Don: That's not a strategy, that's two strategies connected by the word and. I can do "where the pros go" or I can do "everyone's welcome," not both.
- Peggy: I have to say, most of the things Negroes can't do, I can't do either...and nobody seems to care.
- Don: Let yourself out, lock the door behind you...as a courtesy.
- Faye: You want to leave me here? You sure?
- Don: I'm taking everything interesting with me.
Hands and Knees [4.10]
- Lee Garner Jr.: I'm gettin' this.
- Roger: Why would you do that?
- Lee Garner Jr.: Sometimes a fella's gotta pick up the check.
- Lane: Three whiskey sours ought to do.
- Robert Pryce: She's asking what you want, not how many you've had.
- Pete: How is it that some people just walk through life dragging their lies with them, destroying everything they touch?
- Robert Pryce: Put your home in order, either here or there. You will not live in between.
- Lane: Yes sir.
Chinese Wall [4.11]
- Bert: [to Roger] Lee Garner Jr. never took you seriously because you never took yourself seriously.
- Faye: [to Don] I would never use you like that because I know the difference between what we have and this stupid office.
- Faye: [to Don] You want a shoulder to cry on, fine. You want to throw me to the wolves to save your neck, forget it.
- Joan: [to Roger] I'm not the solution to your problem; I'm another problem.
Blowing Smoke [4.12]
- Sally: When I think about forever I get upset. Like the Land of Lakes butter has that Indian girl, sitting holding a box, and it has a picture of her on it, holding a box, with a picture of her on it, holding a box. Have you ever noticed that?
- Peggy: You always say, if you don’t like what they’re saying about you, change the conversation.
- Don: To what? What they’re saying about us is true.
- Pete: [to Don] You did what was best for you because you're impatient and childish. You had a tantrum on a full page in the New York Times.
- Don: I slept last night for the first time in a month.
- Roger: You slept? Really? You weren't smiling over the taste of shit that would be in everybody's mouth over breakfast today?
- Roger: Well I gotta go learn a bunch of people’s names before I fire them.
Tomorrowland [4.13]
- Don: I’ve got this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
- Faye: Listen, maybe it’s not all about work. Maybe that sick feeling might go away if you’d take your head out of the sand about the past.
- Don: You know it’s not that simple.
- Faye: Of course it isn’t. And you don’t have to do it alone, but if you resolve some of that, you might be more comfortable with everything.
- Don: And then what happens?
- Faye: Then you’re stuck trying to be a person like the rest of us.
- Don: [about teenagers] The truth is, they’re mourning for their childhood more than they’re anticipating their future, because they don’t know it yet, but they don’t want to die.
- Don: You don’t know anything about me.
- Megan: But I do. I know that you have a good heart. I know that you’re always trying to be better.
- Don: We all try, we don’t always make it. I’ve done a lot of things.
- Megan: I know who you are now.
- Don: I don’t know what it is about you, but I feel like myself when I’m with you, but the way I always wanted to feel, because I’m in love with you Megan, and I think I have been for a while.
- ...
- Don: When I saw you sleeping there, I thought, I couldn't imagine not seeing you there every morning. Will you marry me?
- Megan: I don't know what to say. This is all so fast.
- Don: Did you ever think about the number of things that had to happen for me to get to know you? But everything happened, and it got me here. What does that mean?
- Megan: I can't believe this. Yes! Yes!
- Faye: [about Megan] I hope she knows you only like the beginnings of things.
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