Ghostbusters

Who ya gonna call?

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.

It’s the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

Ghostbusters is a 1984 film, about three unemployed parapsychology professors who start a business capturing ghosts. It was followed by a sequel, Ghostbusters II, in 1988, by a reboot film, Ghostbusters: Answer the Call, in 2016, and by two more sequels, Ghostbusters: Afterlife in 2021, and Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire in 2024.

Directed by Ivan Reitman and written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis.

They're Here To Save The World.taglines

"I love this town!"

"Personally, I liked the University. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college! You don't know what it's like out there! I've worked in the private sector. They expect results".

"Gozer the Gozerian? Good evening. As a duly-designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin, or to the next convenient parallel dimension".
"That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Ray".

Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES!"

Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.

Dr. Ray Stantz

• Personally, I liked the University. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college! You don't know what it's like out there! I've worked in the private sector. They expect results.

Winston Zeddemore

• Ah, If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.
• [last line] I love this town!

Dialogue

Librarian Alice: I don't remember seeing any legs, but it definitely had arms, because it reached out for me.

Ray Stantz: [happily] Arms? I can't wait to get a look at this thing!

Peter Venkman: Alice, I'm going to ask you a couple of standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family been diagnosed schizophrenic? Mentally incompetent?

Librarian Alice: My uncle thought he was St. Jerome.

Peter Venkman: I'd call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol?

Librarian Alice: No.

Peter Venkman: No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?

Library Administrator: [disturbed] (What?) What has that got to do with it?

Peter Venkman: Back off, man. I'm a scientist.

---

Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.

Peter Venkman: (Really?) What a crime.

---

[the Ghostbusters wait for an elevator]

Hotel Guest: What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?

Peter Venkman: [chuckles] No, we're exterminators. Somebody saw a cockroach up on 12th.

Hotel Guest: That's gotta be some cockroach.

Peter Venkman: Bite your head off, man.

Ray Stantz: Going up?

Hotel Guest: (No, thanks.) I'll take the next one.

[inside the elevator]

Ray Stantz: You know, it's just occurred to me. We really haven't had a completely successful test of this equipment.

Egon Spengler: I blame myself.

Peter Venkman: So do I.

Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.

Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

Ray Stantz: Yep. (We can agree on that.) Well, let's get ready. Switch me on.

[Egon turns on Ray's proton pack, and he and Peter back away from Ray uneasily]

---

[the Ghostbusters cause a chandelier to fall onto a table, destroying both]

Ray Stantz: I did that. I did that. That's my fault.

Peter Venkman: It's okay, the table broke the fall.

Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.

Peter Venkman: What?

Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.

Peter Venkman: Why?

Egon Spengler: It would be bad.

Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?

Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously, and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

Ray Stantz: [shocked gasp] Total protonic reversal.

Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

---

[The Ghostbusters have just completed a hunt in a hotel]

Peter Venkman: We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

Hotel Manager: Did you see it? What was it?

Ray Stantz: [holding up the steaming ghost-trap] We got it!

Hotel Manager: What is it? Will there be any more of them?

Ray Stantz: [coughs] Sir, what you had there was what we referred to as a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm, or a Class-5 full-roaming vapor. Real nasty one, too.

Peter Venkman: And now... [clears his throat] ...let's talk seriously. Now, for the entrapment, [Spengler holds up four fingers behind the Manager] we're gonna have to ask you for four big ones, $4,000 for that, but we are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast, [Spengler holds up one finger] and that's only going to come to $1,000, fortunately.

Hotel Manager: $5,000? I had no idea it would be so much; I won't pay it.

Peter Venkman: Well, that's all right. We can just put it right back in there.

Ray Stantz: Yeah, we certainly can, Dr. Venkman.

Hotel Manager: No, no, no, no! All right. Anything.

Peter Venkman: [smiling] Thank you.

Ray Stantz: Thank you. Hope we can help you again. [to the hotel guests] Coming through! One Class-5 full-roaming vapor. Move 'em out!

---

[Walter Peck, an EPA agent, is visiting the Ghostbusters]

Peter Venkman: Can I help you?

Walter Peck: I'm Walter Peck, I'm with the Environmental Protection... [Venkman shakes hands with Peck and still has Ectoplasm on his hands] ...Agency, the third district.

Peter Venkman: [wipes the Ectoplasm on Peck's Suit] Great, how's it going down there?

Walter Peck: Are you Peter Venkman?

Peter Venkman: Yes, I'm... Dr. Venkman.

Walter Peck: Exactly, what are you a doctor of, Mr. Venkman?

Peter Venkman: Well, I have a PhD in Parapsychology and Psychology.

Walter Peck: I see. And now, you catch ghosts.

Peter Venkman: Yeah, you can say that.

Walter Peck: And how many ghosts have you caught, Mr. Venkman?

Peter Venkman: I'm not at liberty to say.

Walter Peck: And where do you put these ghosts, once you catch them?

Peter Venkman: Into a storage facility.

Walter Peck: And would the storage facility be located on these premises?

Peter Venkman: Yes.

Walter Peck: And may I see this storage facility?

Peter Venkman: No.

Walter Peck: And why not, Mr. Venkman?

Peter Venkman: Because you did not use the magic word.

Walter Peck: What is the magic word, Mr. Venkman?

Peter Venkman: "Please."

Walter Peck: May I please see the [chuckles] storage facility, Mr. Venkman?

Peter Venkman: Why do you want to see the storage facility?

Walter Peck: Well, because I'm curious. I want to know more about what you do here. Frankly, there have been a lot of wild stories in the media and we want to assess for any possible environmental impact from your operation. For instance, the presence of noxious, possibly hazardous waste chemicals in your basement. Now you either show me what is down there, or I come back with a court order.

Peter Venkman: You go get a court order, and I'll sue your ass for wrongful prosecution.

Walter Peck: You can have it your way, Mr. Venkman.

---

[While in jail, the Ghostbusters are studying the blueprints of Dana's apartment building and uncover some startling facts]

Winston Zeddemore: Hey, guard! Look, I want to make a phone call. Yeah, I just work with these guys, but I wasn't even there!

Egon Spengler: The structure of this roof cap is exactly like the kind of telemetry tracker that NASA uses to identify dead pulsars in deep space.

Ray Stantz: Cold-riveted girders...with cores of pure selenium.

Peter Venkman: [to jailbirds suddenly looking over the blueprints] Everybody getting this so far? So what? I guess they just don't make them like they used to, huh?

Ray Stantz: [slaps Venkman up the head] No! Nobody ever made them like this! I mean, the architect was either a certified genius or an authentic wacko!

Peter Venkman: Ray, for a moment, pretend that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering, or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on.

Ray Stantz: You never studied. The whole building is a huge super-conductive antenna that was designed and built expressly for the purpose of pulling in and concentrating spiritual turbulence. Your girlfriend lives in the corner penthouse of Spook Central.

Peter Venkman: She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers. Four feet above her covers. She barks, she drools, she claws--

Egon Spengler: It's not the girl, Peter, it's the building. Something terrible is about to enter our world, and this building is obviously the door. The architect's name was Ivo Shandor. I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide. He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. And then in 1920, he started a secret society.

Peter Venkman: Let me guess: Gozer worshippers?

Egon Spengler: Right.

Peter Venkman: [to Stantz, mockingly] "No studying."

Egon Spengler: After the First World War, Shandor decided that society was too sick to survive. [notices more jailbirds listening in] And he wasn't alone; he had close to a thousand followers when he died. They conducted rituals up on the roof, bizarre rituals intended to bring about the end of the world, and now, it looks like it may actually happen.

Peter Venkman: [singing] ♪ So be good, for goodness' sake! Whoa! Somebody's coming! Somebody's coming! ♪

Ray Stantz: We have to get out of here. We've got to find a judge or something.

Winston Zeddemore: Hey, wait a minute! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Hold it! Now, are we actually going to go before a federal judge and say that some moldy Babylonian god is going to drop in on Central Park West and start tearing up the city?!

Egon Spengler: Sumerian, not Babylonian.

Peter Venkman: Yeah, big difference.

Winston Zeddemore: [sighs, fed up] No offense, but I gotta get my own lawyer.

Guard: Okay, Ghostbusters, the Mayor wants to see you guys. Whole island's going crazy, let's go.

Peter Venkman: I got to split, the Mayor wants to rap with me about some things.

---

Walter Peck: I am Walter Peck, sir, and I'm prepared to make a full report. These men are consummate snowball artists. They use sensitive nerve gases to induce hallucinations. People think they're seeing ghosts, and they call these bozos, who conveniently show up to deal with the problem with a fake electronic light show.

Ray Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.

Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!

Mayor: Is this true?

Venkman: Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.

Walter Peck: Jeez! [charges at Venkman; everybody tries to pull them apart]

Police Sergeant: Break it up! Hey, break this up! Break it up!

Walter Peck: Alright, alright, alright!

Peter Venkman: Well, that's what I heard!

Mayor: This is City Hall! Now what am I going to do here, John? What is this?

Fire Commissioner: All I know is that was no light show we saw this morning. I've seen every kind of combustion known to man, but this beats the Hell out of me.

Police Commissioner: The walls in the 53rd Precinct were bleeding. How do you explain that?

Archbishop: [enters City Hall] Good morning, gentlemen.

Mayor: Oh... Your Eminence. [kisses Archbishop's ring]

Archbishop: How are you, Lenny?

Mayor Lenny: You're looking good, Mike. [gives Mike a friendly tap] We're in a real fix, here. What do you think I should do?

Archbishop (Mike): Lenny, officially, the Church will not take any position on the religious implications of these phenomena. Personally, Lenny, I think it's a sign from God. But don't quote me on that.

Peter Venkman: I think that's a smart move, Mike.

Mayor Lenny: Now, I'm not going to call a press conference and tell everyone to start praying.

Winston Zeddemore: I'm, uh, Winston Zeddemore, your Honor. I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks, but I got to tell you: these things are real. Since I joined these men, I have seen shit that'll turn you white!

Peter Venkman: Well, you can believe Mr. Pecker...

Walter Peck: My name is "Walter Peck."

Peter Venkman: ...or you could accept the fact that this city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.

Mayor Lenny: What do you mean, "biblical"?

Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor. Real Wrath-of-God type stuff!

Peter Venkman: Exactly.

Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!

Egon Spengler: 40 years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes!

Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!

Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria!

Mayor Lenny: ENOUGH, I get the point! And what if you're wrong?

Peter Venkman: If I'm wrong, nothing happens! We go to jail; peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing... Lenny, you will have saved the lives of [faces lights up] millions of registered voters. [Mayor slightly smiles and the Archbishop of New York smiles and nods in agreement]

Walter Peck: I don't believe you're seriously considering listening to these men.

Mayor: [contemplates; to officers while pointing at Peck] Get him out of here.

Peter Venkman: [smirks] Bye. [an officer tries to escort him out of the room]

Walter Peck: I'll fix you, Venkman. I'm going to fix you!

Peter Venkman: I'm going to get you a nice fruit basket. [thumbs at Peck; to Ray] I'm going to miss him!

Walter Peck: All right, all right! [leaves the room on his own]

Mayor Lenny: [to Ghostbusters] We got work to do. Now what do you need from me?

---

[Gozer materializes in front of the Ghostbusters in the form of a woman.]

Egon Spengler: It's Gozer.

Peter Venkman: I thought Gozer was a man.

Egon Spengler: It can be anything it wants.

Ray Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian? Good evening. As a duly-designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin, or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

Peter Venkman: That ought to do it. Thanks very much, Ray.

Gozer the Gozerian: Are you a god?

Ray Stantz: [looks at Venkman, who nods] No.

Gozer the Gozerian: Then... DIIIIIIIIE! [sends the Ghostbusters sprawling with lightning bolts]

Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES!" [Ray then nods his head]

---

Peter Venkman: All right. This chick is toast!

[The Ghostbusters form a line and slowly, confidently advance on Gozer.]

Peter Venkman: Got your stick?

Ray, Egon, Winston: [together] Holdin'!

Peter Venkman: Heat 'em up!

Ray, Egon, Winston: [together] Smokin'!

Peter Venkman: Make 'em haaard!

Ray, Egon, Winston: [together] Ready!

Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.

---

Gozer the Gozerian: Sub-creatures! Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volgus Zildrohar, the Traveler has come! Choose and perish!

Ray Stantz: What do you mean, choose? We don't understand.

Gozer the Gozerian: Choose! Choose the form of the Destructor!

Peter Venkman: Oh, I get it! I get it. Oh! Very cute. [to the others] "Whatever we think of." If we think of J. Edgar Hoover, J. Edgar Hoover will appear and destroy us, okay? So, empty your heads. Empty your heads. Don't think of anything. We've only got one shot at this.

Gozer the Gozerian: The choice is made!

Peter Venkman: Whoa! Ho-ho--! Whoa!

Gozer the Gozerian: The Traveler has come!

Peter Venkman: Nobody "choosed" anything! [turns to Egon] Did you choose anything?

Egon Spengler: No.

Peter Venkman: [to Winston] Did you?

Winston Zeddemore: My mind is totally blank.

Peter Venkman: I didn't choose anything! [All three slowly turn to confront Ray]

Ray Stantz: I couldn't help it. It just popped in there.

Peter Venkman: [sternly] What? What just popped in there?

Ray Stantz: I-- I-I tried to think--

Egon Spengler: [alarmed] LOOK! [They all look over one side of the roof]

Ray Stantz: No! It can't be!

Peter Venkman: What is it?

Ray Stantz: It can't be!

Peter Venkman: What did you do, Ray?

Winston Zeddemore: Oh, shit!

[They all see a giant cubic white head topped with a sailor hat]

Ray Stantz: [resigned] It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

[the Ghostbusters watch the gigantic form of Mr. Stay-Puft stomping towards them]

Peter Venkman: Well, there's something you don't see every day.

Ray Stantz: I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood, something that could never, ever possibly destroy us: Mr. Stay-Puft.

Peter Venkman: Nice thinkin', Ray.

Ray Stantz: We used to roast Stay Puft Marshmallows, by the fire at Camp Waconda. [feeling as if he's about to cry]

Peter Venkman: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon. What have you got left?

Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

[the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man growls at the Ghostbusters]

Winston Zeddemore: [stunned] Oh, no.

Peter Venkman: Mother pus-bucket. [Mr. Stay Puft growls and crushes a church] Nobody steps on a church in my town!

Ray Stantz: 1...2...3... Roast 'im! [he and the other Ghostbusters set Mr. Stay Puft on fire, and he starts climbing the building]

Peter Venkman: Whoa! [he and the other Ghostbusters hide]

Ray Stantz: Funny, us going out like this: Killed by a 100-foot Marshmallow Man.

Peter Venkman: We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay-Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York. If we get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble.

[Mr. Stay-Puft continues climbing building]

Egon Spengler: I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways. We could reverse the particle flow through the gate.

Ray Stantz: How?

Egon Spengler: [reluctantly] We'll cross the streams.

Peter Venkman: Excuse me, Egon, you said crossing the streams was bad.

Ray Stantz: Cross the streams.

Peter Venkman: You're gonna endanger us, you're gonna endanger our client. The nice lady who paid us in advance before she became a dog.

Egon Spengler: Not necessarily. There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive. [team ponders]

Peter Venkman: I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it! Let's do it!

Winston Zeddemore: This job is definitely not worth $11,500 a year!

About Ghostbusters

• Rarely has a movie this expensive provided so many quotable lines.
  • Roger Ebert, Review of Ghostbusters (1 January 1984)

Taglines

• Catching the un-dead is their life. It's not a pretty job...especially the way they do it. But somebody has to.
• They're Here To Save The World.
• Coming To Save The World This Summer.
• We're Ready To Believe You.
• Who you going to call? Ghostbusters!
• The supernatural spectacular
• They ain't afraid of no ghost.
• The world's most successful comedy
• No spook, specter, or haunt will ever be safe again.

Cast

• Bill Murray - Dr. Peter Venkman
• Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Raymond Stantz
• Harold Ramis - Dr. Egon Spengler
• Sigourney Weaver - Dana Barrett
• Rick Moranis - Louis Tully
• Annie Potts - Janine Melnitz
• Ernie Hudson - Winston Zeddmore
• William Atherton - Walter Peck
• David Margulies - Mayor
• Slavitza Jovan - Gozer
• Paddi Edwards - Gozer (voice)
• Frank Welker - Zuul (voice)/Slimer (voice)

External links

• Encyclopedic article on Ghostbusters on Wikipedia
• Media related to Ghostbusters on Wikimedia Commons
• Ghostbusters quotes at the Internet Movie Database
• Ghostbusters at Rotten Tomatoes

GHOSTBUSTERS
FILMS	Ghostbusters  (1984) · Ghostbusters II  (1989) · Ghostbusters  (2016) · Ghostbusters: Afterlife  (2021) · Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire  (2024)
TELEVISION	The Real Ghostbusters  (1986–1992) · Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue  (1990) · Extreme Ghostbusters  (1997)
NOVELS	Ghostbusters: The Return  (2004)
COMICS	The Real Ghostbusters  (1988–1992) · Ghostbusters: Legion  (2004–2005) · Ghostbusters: Ghost Busted  (2008) · Ghostbusters: Total Containment  (2011–2012) · Ghostbusters: Mass Hysteria  (2013–2014)
VIDEO GAMES	Ghostbusters II  (1990) · New Ghostbusters II  (1990) · The Real Ghostbusters  (1993) · Ghostbusters: The Video Game  (2009) · Ghostbusters: Sanctum of Slime  (2011) · Lego Dimensions  (2015)