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American author, rabbi, activist speaker From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Abby Chava Stein (born October 1, 1991[1]) is an Israeli-American transgender author, rabbi, activist,[2] blogger,[3] model, and speaker. She is the first openly transgender woman raised in a Hasidic community, and is a direct descendant of Hasidic Judaism's founder, the Baal Shem Tov.[4][5] In 2015, she founded one of the first support groups nationwide for trans people with an Orthodox Jewish background who have left Orthodox Judaism.[6]
Abby Stein | |
|---|---|
.jpg) Stein in 2019 | |
| Born | October 1, 1991[1] New York City, U.S. |
| Nationality | American, Israeli |
| Education | Yeshivath Viznitz (semikhah) Columbia University (BA) |
| Occupations |
|
| Years active | 2012–present |
| Employer | Congregation Kolot Chayeinu |
| Known for | Transgender activism |
| Television | Dark Net |
| Spouse |
Fraidy Horowitz
(m. 2010–2013) |
| Children | 1 |
| Writing career | |
| Genre | non-fiction |
| Subjects | Memoir, LGBT literature, Jewish literature |
| Notable work | Becoming Eve: My Journey from Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman |
 Literature portal | |
| Website | The Second Transition |
Stein is also the first woman, and the first openly transgender woman, to have been ordained by an Orthodox Jewish institution, having received her rabbinical degree in 2011, before coming out as transgender.[7] Stein did not work as a rabbi immediately after leaving Orthodox Judaism,[8] by 2019, she had been working as a rabbi again, and as of 2020 works in many capacities as a rabbi.[9] In 2018, she co-founded Sacred Space, a multi-faith project "which celebrates women and non-binary people of all faith traditions".[10]
For the Jewish year of 5785, beginning in September 2024, Stein will serve as part-time rabbi of Kolot Chayeinu, a progressive non-denominational synagogue in Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York.[11]
Stein was born to a family of notable Hasidic leaders, in 1991 in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York City, as the sixth of thirteen children.[12][13][a] Her father, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Stein, is the current Savraner Rebbe of Brooklyn. Her grandfather, Grand Rabbi Mordechai Stein, is the current Faltishaner Rabbe and a descendant of (and named for) Reb Mordechai Twersky of Chernobyl (1770–1837). Her family is of Polish, Ukrainian/Romanian, Serbian, and Israeli descent, with modern Ukraine being the predominant origin.[14]
Stein grew up speaking Yiddish and Hebrew and was educated at a traditional all-boys Jewish day school. The community in which she grew up is highly segregated by gender (which impacts almost all aspects of daily life).[b] Stein attended the Viznitz yeshiva in Kiamesha Lake, New York,[16] for her high school and rabbinical education; she received semikha in 2011.[17] In 2012, she left the Hasidic community (often referred to in Jewish communities as going "off the derech"), and in 2014 started school at Columbia University's School of General Studies.
In her book,[1] as well as in numerous interviews, Stein credits the New York City-based non-profit Footsteps with helping her succeed after she left the Hasidic community, even calling their work "life saving."[18] In a March 2021 interview with the New York magazine, she credits Footsteps therapists with helping her both when she left the Hasidic community and later came out as a transgender woman. Stein said that speaking with a Footsteps social worker "Was the first time I ever spoke to a professional where I felt listened to, as opposed to feeling like a problem that needed solving."[19]
Stein has dual US and Israeli citizenship,[20] with the Israeli citizenship coming through her father who was born in Jerusalem and the family goes back there several generations.[18] Her great-grandfather was Rabbi Yosef Meir Kahana, the Rebbe of Spinka Jerusalem.
In November 2015, Stein made headlines when she came out on her blog as transgender[21] and started physical transition. She was featured in some major media outlets, including The New York Times,[22] the New York Post,[23] New York Magazine,[24] NBC,[25] the Daily Dot,[26] and more. She has also appeared on CNN,[27] Fox News,[28] HuffPost Live,[29] and Vice Canada.[30] Stein also appeared on a number of international TV networks,[c] newspapers, and magazines in over 20 different languages.[31][32][33] [34][35][36]
When Stein left her community in 2012 and came out as an atheist, her parents said that no matter Stein's choices in life, she would remain their child. After coming out as trans, though, her father told her that, "You should know that this means I might not be able to talk to you ever again."[37] Since then, her parents have shunned her and stopped talking to her altogether.[38] She has also received some hate from her former community,[39] but, in an interview with Chasing News (a Fox News short film company), Stein said that she received less hate than some people would have expected.[28] She described her life post-transition as "better than I could have ever imagined".[12]
Stein was featured in the 2016 Showtime Documentary series, Dark Net, in episode 8, "Revolt".[40]
On June 4, 2016, Stein celebrated her transition and announced her name change to Abby Chava Stein at Romemu, a Jewish Renewal synagogue in the Upper West Side neighborhood of New York City.[41][42] In an interview with The Huffington Post, she said that even though she did not believe in God, she wanted to celebrate in a synagogue:
I wanted to show that if you claim being trans is unacceptable in traditional Judaism, well, here is a community that is not just okay with accepting me as I am, but is celebrating with me, rejoicing with me. What I'm hoping is that by sharing my story, others in the same situation will realize that you can have your name changed in a synagogue. There are so many synagogues where you can't, but there are also those where you can – the Jewish Reform movement, the Conservative movement. Within Orthodoxy, there's still a long way to go. Every time something like this is done, it's one step closer to acceptance for everyone.[43]
Stein's first book, Becoming Eve: My Journey from Ultra Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman, a memoir, was published by Seal Press (Hachette) on November 12, 2019.[44][45][46][47] The book became a best seller.[48]
Becoming Eve has been translated into Dutch, and was published under the title Eigenlijk Eva: Mijn transitie van ultraorthodoxe rabbi tot trans-vrouw by De Geus on January 18, 2022.[49]
Stein's second book, Sources of Pride, an anthology of Jewish texts on "Identity, Gender, Sexuality, and Inclusivity, in Jewish Texts from the Torah to Kabbalah, Hasidic Teachings, and Contemporary Sources."[50] The book will be a collection of her source sheets on Sefaria. It is to be published by Ben Yehuda Press.[51]
Stein was profiled in, and wrote the foreword for, Peter Bussian's book of portraits, Trans New York: Photos and Stories of Transgender New Yorkers. In the foreword, she described her love for New York City – both while in the Hasidic community, and now living as a Queer person in New York.[52]
Her writings have also been published in Queer Disbelief: Why LGBTQ Equality is an Atheist Issue, written by Camille Beredjick,[53] edited by Hemant Mehta, and published by Friendly Atheist. Stein wrote an essay specifically for the book, titled, Trans Woman (and Former Hasidic Jew): Atheists Should Support the LGBTQ Movement (ISBN 978-0692989647).[54]
Stein's essay about COVID-19 and its impact on the LGBTQ community, titled, "COVID has exploded Jewish LGBTQ acceptance online. There's no going back." (originally published on Forward.com,[55]) was included in When We Turned Within: Reflections on COVID-19, an anthology of 165 essays edited by Sarah Tuttle-Singer and Menachem Creditor.[56]
Another one of Stein's essays on the current political climate, titled "When One Line Makes All the Difference" - reflecting on President Joe Biden's victory speech (on November 7, 2020), and his mentioning of the transgender community[57] (originally published online by T'ruah (of which Stein is a rabbinic member), as part of their "Torah 20/20" series.[58]) - was published in the 2021 anthology No Time for Neutrality: American Rabbinic Voices from an Era of Upheaval.[59]
Stein's essay titled "Bring Them In," based on her remarks as part of the 24 hour "Call To Unite,"[60] hosted by Tim Shriver and Oprah Winfrey,[61] was published in The Call to Unite.[62]
Stein also contributed to Jewels of Elul: A Letter to Myself XII, a collection of essays published by singer / songwriter and music producer, Craig Taubman. Her essay, titled, "Dayeinu" ("Enough" in Hebrew), focused on the question of "What If?", and explored an answer to the question of "What If you would have been" born or raised in different circumstances.[63]
Stein also contributed an essay to Kaye Blegvad's The Pink Book: An Illustrated Celebration of the Color, from Bubblegum to Battleships, discussing her relationship with the color pink, the Hasidic community and the color, and her feelings about stereotypical femininity.[64]
After coming out, Stein started an online support group to help trans people who come from Orthodox backgrounds. Stein also said that Facebook and online support communities have been her lifeline while leaving her community, which made her realize the positive power of online communities.[76]
In December 2015, Stein founded a support group for trans people from Orthodox backgrounds.[77] The group's first meeting had 12 people attending, most of them fellow Hasids struggling with their gender identity.[78] Stein's avid blogging also gained her a big following in the Jewish community, and she has become a role model for former ultra-Orthodox Jews – both LGBTQ and not.[79]
In addition to transgender activism, Stein has also been active in several projects to help those going off the derech and leaving the ultra-Orthodox community. She has been working with Footsteps,[80] and its Canadian sister organization, Forward, for which she traveled to Montreal in 2016 to help jump-start.[81] In addition, she has also done some lay advocacy work with YAFFED, working towards a better education in the Hasidic schools, for which she has also engaged in political work.[82]
In 2018, Stein co-founded her own feminist/womanist multi-faith and inclusive celebration of women and non-binary people of all faith traditions, called Sacred Space, with former Mormon feminist and founder of Ordain Women, human rights lawyer Kate Kelly, and Yale Divinity School professor and Baptist preacher Eboni Marshall-Turman.[83]
During the 2020 Democratic Party presidential primaries, Stein served as a national Surrogate[further explanation needed] for the Bernie Sanders campaign.[84]
Stein is a member of the Democratic Socialists of America.[85]
Since coming out, Stein has also done several modeling projects depicting her life and transition, which have been published by numerous sites.[86] She told Refinery29 that "I actually liked [shooting]. It did help me feel more comfortable", and that she does these projects to encourage others on their journey.[87] In 2018, she also did several photo shoots and modeling projects with major fashion magazines such as Vogue,[88] Glamour,[65] Elle,[89] and InStyle.[90]
In December 2021 Stein was photographed by Annie Leibovitz as part of Celebrity Cruises' "industry-elevating" All-Inclusive Photo Project.[91] The Project, which according to CNN was "some of the world's most innovative artists and photographers teaming up with a cruise line in a bid to help change the face of travel marketing"[92] was according to Celebrity Cruises "starting a movement to address under-representation in travel marketing through our All-Inclusive Photo Project. In partnership with world-renowned photographers, we have created the world's first open-source photo library featuring ethnic, disabled, curvy and LGBTQ+ changemakers. We invite our industry to join us in changing the face of travel."[93] Stein said about that shoot that “while I don't understand corporate intentions, the people I worked with from Celebrity were all really, really amazing and they really mean it. I think they've done a lot of amazing stuff towards being more inclusive and I'm a big fan of inclusivity. Specifically, actual actions.”[94]
Stein's photo from that shoot was printed in The New York Times Sunday edition on Sunday April 24, 2022, as a double page centerfold feature in the main section.[95]
Stein's first public appearance was in a promotional video for Footsteps 10th anniversary gala in 2013, where she was interviewed about her experience leaving the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community.[96] Around the same time, she also did interviews with The Wall Street Journal[97] and Haaretz[98] about her experience leaving the community and fighting for custody. She also started giving public speeches on these topics.[99]
In addition to public speaking, she also teaches classes on gender within Judaism, as well as bringing attention to trans people from Orthodox communities.[100] As of November 2016, she has had speeches at several universities. She has also done longer speaking tours to several communities in Montreal, the San Francisco Bay Area, and the New York metropolitan area.[101]
Starting in 2016, Stein has also become a rising star in demand for speaking engagements and conferences, such as the Limmud franchise,[102] where, at the 2017 Limmud NY conference, she spoke more times than any other presenter.[103] At the same time, she has also spoken internationally at conferences such as the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee's annual Junction Conference in Berlin,[104] and the Miles Nadal JCC's Shavuot in Toronto.
A big part of Stein's events have been with Hillel International affiliates all over the world. According to a 2017 report by Hillel, "Stein has visited more than 100 campuses, sharing her story with thousands of students, in hopes of teaching them the importance of inclusivity, and that 'Judaism and queerness are not a contradiction'."[105] Her events drew hundreds of students, where she talks about her life, Transgender in Judaism, Intersectionality, policy, and politics, as it relates to the LGBTQ community, and consulting on how to be more inclusive.[106][107]
Stein is today a globally recognized author, activist, and speaker.[108] As of July 2020, she has given over 400 speeches at venues worldwide.[18]
In early 2019, Stein joined the Women's March leadership, as a member of the 2019 Steering Committee.[46] Despite some controversy surrounding the March and its leadership, Stein said that, "I'm convinced that working with Women's March people, we can gain so much more by working together, even when there might be some parts we feel uncomfortable with",[109] and "expressed solidarity with other Jewish women who are supporting the march on grounds that it has emerged as an important and growing coalition of marginalized groups, including Jews, African Americans, Hispanics, and LGBT people".[110]
During the rally following the march, Stein also spoke on stage alongside Reverend Jacqui Lewis, senior minister of Middle Collegiate Church, and Muslim activist Remaz Abdelgader, leading the spiritual invocation opening the rally. During her speech, which she started with the traditional greeting of "Shabbat Shalom", she related the march to the Exodus, leading the audience in chants denouncing different forms of prejudice and oppression, with a chant of "Let It Go!".[111] She also called for unity, saying that, "A lot of people out there, a lot of people in the media are trying to divide us. What brings us together is not the fact that we are all the same. What brings us together is our differences."[112]
In 2020, Stein was a featured speaker[113] at the Women's March NYC, in Foley Square.[114]
For a few years after leaving the Hasidic community, and later coming out, Stein did not work as a rabbi at all. About the first two years after leaving, she told HuffPost "I felt very much disenfranchised from God. One rabbi called it “Post-God Traumatic Disorder.” When God is just this really bad person who is going to punish you. I was like, “That's it. I don't want to know anything about the Jewish religion. This is all bulls**t.” Later on, she started practicing Judaism again, saying “I don't believe in God, but I believe in Judaism,” naming specifically the Jewish year cycle, as well as Jewish music, food, and spirituality, as details that made her reembrace some Jewish practices.[115] About celebrating Shabbat she said that while she is not observant in an Orthodox sense, marking Shabbat with simple rituals such as candle lighting helped ground her when she was going through a hard time before coming out, and that "it became a mental health and spiritual practice." On her social media she posts almost weekly posts of her celebrating Shabbat.[18]
By 2019 she has re-embraced her title and work as a rabbi, leaning into the knowledge she got in her training to advance LGBTQ right and social justice."[9] She also said that “I have found that even the most secular Jews have a certain type of respect when you say, ‘rabbi,’”[48] and she has used that ability to talk more about how Judaism and Jewish texts have space for queer and trans people, saying that “While I don't think that we need text to justify who we are... I do think that [texts] create something so beautiful and powerful.” While making a video teaching Jewish texts with the Jewish Daily Forward, she said that “I'm hoping that looking at these texts and sharing them could help us all, if we wish, to find a space for us within Judaism to learn not to tolerate who we are, but to celebrate who we are.”[116] Stein also partnered with the Yiddish Forverts to create content in her native Yiddish on the topic of gender and transgender in Judaism.[117]
Stein currently serves in the capacity of a rabbi on NCJW's "Rabbis for Repro" board,[118] overseeing "a network of Jewish clergy who have pledged to preach, teach, and advocate for abortion justice," which currently has over 1,500 members.[119]
Stein is an active member of the rabbinical group T'ruah: The Rabbinic Call for Human Rights,[120] as well as a member of the rabbinical advocacy group "Tirdof: New York Jewish Clergy for Justice" which is a partnership between T'ruah and Jews for Racial and Economic Justice (JFREJ).[121]
A February 2022 article in Distractify claimed that the transgender rabbi character (played by Hari Nef) in episode 10 of And Just Like That… was based on Stein.[122]
As of the High Holy Days 5784 (September 2023), Stein has been working as a rabbi and scholar-in-residence at The New Shul, a Non-Denominational progressive synagogue in Manhattan's West Village.[123]
American Jewish Press Association Rockower Award, First place Award for Excellence in Personality Profiles. In the 2019 awards, Simi Horowitz's profile of Stein, "Abby Stein: A Gender Transition Through a Jewish Lens", in the Moment Magazine[146] Received the first place award for Excellence in Personality Profiles. The AJPA commented by saying that, "This piece captures the humanity of Abby Stein, with an abundance of quietly telling details (like what she's eating during the interview). An impressive work."[147]
In addition to a long list of interviews with major national and international news networks,[d] Stein has also been featured in several TV segments in the United States, Canada, Israel, Bulgaria, and more – in English, French, Hebrew, Bulgarian, Russian, Spanish, and Yiddish.
| Year | Title | Role | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2014 | Huffington Post Live[148] | TV series; Episode: "Why Orthodox Jews Struggle to Leave Community" with Shulem Deen | |
| 2015 | Huffington Post Live[149] | TV series; Episode: "Why This Trans Woman Left Hasidism To Embrace Her Gender Identity" | |
| 2015 | Chasing News[150] | Fox TV Series; Episode: "Free To Be Me" | |
| 2016–2018 | Great Big Story[151] | A CNN Web Series; Episode: "Transitioning to Freedom" – in 2018 the episode was aired again by "Great Big Story Nordics" with Swedish subtitles; Episode: "Transsexuell med ultraortodox bakgrund"[152] | |
| 2016 | Dark Net[153] | Showtime Television documentary series, Episode 8, "Revolt" | |
| 2016 | Daily Vice – Canada[154] | Canadian TV Series; Episode: "Les défis d'une activiste trans reniée par sa communauté juive hassidique" In French and in English | |
| 2017 | NowThis Original[155] | TV series; Episode: "How This Hasidic Rabbi Became A Trans Woman" – Got 2.6 million views on Facebook alone. | |
| 2017 | Shishi With Ayala Hasson[156] | Israeli TV Series on Channel 10; Episode: "הכל אודות אבי: מסעו המופלא של האברך החרדי שהפך לאישה" (All About Abby: The Wonderful Journey of the Young Ultra-Orthodox Man That Became A Woman), In Hebrew | |
| 2017 | The Theme of NOVA[157] | Bulgarian TV Show; Episode: "Темата на NOVA: Свещеникът, който се моли да бъде жена" (The Rabbi Who Prays to Be a Woman) – this was Stein's first TV appearance in Eastern Europe, and Bulgaria's first transgender story on TV, in Bulgarian. | |
| 2017 | PopSugar[158] | Social Media series; Episode: "This Transgender Trailblazer Left the Hasidic Community to Live Her Truth as a Woman" – it got over 7 million views on Facebook alone,[159] the most of any of her videos | |
| 2017 | DKISS[160] | Spanish TV series; Episode: "Abby Stein cortó toda la relación con su familia cuando les contó que era transgénero" – Stein was not interviewed for this episode, in Spanish. | |
| 2017 | Time Code – RTVi[161] | International Russian-speaking TV series; Episode: "«Тайм-Код» с Владимиром Ленским. 16 июня" – Filmed at Columbia University, in Russian. | |
| 2017 | FOX 5 News at 5[162] | NYC TV news series; Episode: "Transgender woman's journey from Hasidim to a new life". | |
| 2017 | A Plus: A Grain of Saul[163] | Weekly Facebook based show; Episode: "To mark Transgender Day of Remembrance". | |
| 2017 | The Rundown[164] | TV show on the International Israeli channel i24NEWS; Episode: "Bridging Ultra-Orthodox and LGBT communities" in two parts,[165] in English | |
| 2018 | Todo Noticias[166] | Argentinian TV show; Episode: "Cómo un rabino ultraortodoxo (casado y con un hijo) se convirtió en mujer," and additional segment "Abby, el rabino ortodoxo que se convirtió en mujer"[167] in Spanish | |
| 2018 | CAFE 100[168] | Web Series; Episode: "Episode 2: Abby Stein" | |
| 2018 | Huffpost Perspectives[169] | TV series; Episode: S1:E11 "This Trans Woman Left Her Hasidic Community To Fully Embrace Her True Self" | |
| 2018 | TRENDING[170] | TV show hosted by Emily Frances; Episode: "From Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman"[171] | |
| 2018 | Stern[172] | German Magazine based Series as part of JWD by Joko Winterscheidt; Episode: "Abby Stein musste eine Welt aufgeben, in der sie Rabbiner sein sollte – um eine Frau zu sein," In German | |
| 2019 | 112BK[173] | Brooklyn based BRIC TV weekly show; Episode: "A Hasidic Rabbi's Transition" | |
| 2019 | Queer Kid Stuff[174] | Web series educating kids on LGBTQ+ and social justice topics; season 4, episode 2: "Religion with Abby Chava Stein!" | |
| 2019 | Studio 10[175] | Australian morning talk show on Network Ten; Episode: "Abby Stein: From Orthodox Rabbi To Transgender Woman" | |
| 2019 | Today Show[176] | American morning talk show on NBC; season 67, Episode: "Transgender Woman Chronicles Her Journey from Rabbi to Her True Self" | |
| 2020 | Magellán[177] | Hungarian Educational and Scientific show on Super TV2; Episode: "Rabbi volt, de nőként él tovább: Exkluzív interjú Abby Steinnel" (She was a rabbi, now she lives as a woman: An exclusive interview with Abby Stein), in Hungarian | |
| 2020 | Soon By You[178] | A credited and scripted cameo as a Yoga Instructor; Soon By You is a "frum and funky 'Friends'-esque sitcom", set in the Modern Orthodox community of New York City's Upper West Side. This S2:E2 episode was focused on the Orthodox LGBTQ community.[179] | |
| 2020 | Inside Edition[180] | American TV News magazine on CBS; season 32, Episode: "Abby Stein Is the First from New York's Hasidic Community to Come Out as Trans" | |
| 2021 | A Day in the Life of America[181] | Documentary film produced by Jared Leto in 2017, aired by PBS as part of the Independent Lens series; season 21, episode 6.[182] | |
| 2023 | The Secret Life of Hasidic Jews in New York[183] | Documentary produced by Drew Binsky exploring Williamsburg, NY, Abby's neighborhood where she grew up. |
In 2010, Stein married a woman, Fraidy Horowitz, with whom she also had her son, Duvid. The marriage was an arranged marriage by a matchmaker, and the couple only met for 15 minutes prior to the engagement.[184] "Abby's sheltered upbringing culminated in her marriage at 18 to Fraidy, the daughter of another Hasidic Jewish family. It was formally arranged by a matchmaker, and was, in Abby's words, a 'done deal' before they had even met. 'It wasn't exactly forced, but it was completely arranged', she said. 'I met her once in advance, for 15 minutes.' The two did not see each other again until their wedding.[12] As Stein left the community, she divorced her wife.[185] In an interview with The Wall Street Journal right after her divorce, she said that, "They had a good relationship", and that at the time of the divorce, she was able to "obtain a 'normal agreement', including weekly visits, joint custody, split holidays, joint decision-making on major life events, and every second weekend with her son".[186]
Stein is a cousin of the actor Luzer Twersky.[187]
In a 2023 piece Stein wrote for Autostraddle, she identified her sexuality "as an out and proud queer, poly demisexual[188]."
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