All Turkes do detest the colour of blacke, and thinke those that weare it, shall never enter into Paradise: But the colour of greatest request among them is greene; wherewith if any Christian be apparrelled, he shall be sure of Bastinadoes, and other punishments.
[After the Queen's latest practical joke, Edmund returns to his house to find it filled with smoke.] Blackadder: My God! This place stinks like a pair of armoured trousers after the Hundred Years War. Baldrick, have you been eating dung again?! [Percy comes out of the den, frazzled and slightly burnt] Percy: My lord! Success! Blackadder: What? [Percy leads Edmund into the den, where alchemical apparatus has been arranged on the table, with Baldrick pumping the bellows] Percy: After literally an hour's ceaseless searching, I have succeeded in creating gold! Pure gold! Blackadder: Are you sure? Percy: Yes, my lord! Behold... [Edmund and Baldrick look at the main pot as Percy opens it, revealing its contents and bathing the room in its light] Blackadder: Percy, it's green. Percy: That's right, my lord! Blackadder: Yes, Percy, I don't want to be pedantic, but the colour of gold is gold. That's why it's called 'gold'. What you have discovered, if it has a name, is some 'green'. [Amazed, Percy takes the green out of the pot and holds it reverently in his hands] Percy: Oh, Edmund, can it be true? That I hold here, in my mortal hand, a nugget of purest green? Blackadder: Indeed you do, Percy. Except it's not really a nugget, but more of a splat. Percy: Well, yes, a splat today, but tomorrow, who knows, or dares to dream! Blackadder: So we three alone in all the world can create the finest green at will? Percy: Thus so. [aside] Not sure about counting in Baldrick, actually. Blackadder: Of course, you know what your great discovery means, don't you, Percy? Percy: Perhaps, my lord... Blackadder: That you, Percy, Lord Percy, are an utter berk. Baldrick, pack my bags. I'm gonna sell the house. Baldrick and Percy: What? Blackadder: There's nothing else for it. I mean, I shall miss the old place. I've had some happy times here, when you and Percy have been out, but needs must when the devil vomits into your kettle. Baldrick, go forth into the street and let it be known that Lord Blackadder wishes to sell his house. Percy, just go forth into the street.