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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 09:52, 10 November 2022 (UTC)
Happy to review this article.
Lead section, infobox
- Link Staffordshire; grammar school.
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 07:35, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- Introduce Charles Eamer Kempe; Cecil Greenwood Hare.
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 07:35, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 07:35, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 07:35, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- Replace England with 'UK'.
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 07:35, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
1 Description
- The church is grade I listed... – this sentence could be amended to improve the prose, to something like ‘The church was grade I listed by Historic England on 12 March 1964.’
- The problem here is that the HE page lists the current grade and the date the building was first listed, as far as I am aware it is possible that it was listed in 1964 at a lower grade and then upgraded - Dumelow (talk) 07:38, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- Understood. AM
- local landowners – amend to ‘who were local landowners’?
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 07:41, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- I would add a comma after building.
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 07:41, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- Could you make clearer whether the Mosley family are now no longer associated with the church (or even if they still exist)?
- The Mosleys are still about. The VCH (published 2007) states they still retain the right to burial - Dumelow (talk) 12:11, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- I would mention something to that effect in the article. Amitchell125 (talk) 14:28, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks, have done - Dumelow (talk) 14:34, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
2 Structure
- Link deanery; archdeanery of Stoke-upon-Trent (Archdeacon of Stoke); aisle; parapets; buttresses.
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 14:42, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- It is constructed – it’s not clear what it is referring to.
- Added "the church is" - Dumelow (talk) 14:42, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- Add a comma after centuries.
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 14:42, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- of the structure – 'of the church' sounds better imo.
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 14:42, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- I’m not sure why the image is included, it’s not good enough to illustrate the text, and looks very similar to the one in the infobox. I would remove it.
- Removed - Dumelow (talk) 14:42, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
3 Interior
- Link pulpits; Bishop of Chicester.
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 14:46, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- with the surname of – ‘named’?
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 14:46, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 14:46, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
4 Churchyard
- Unlink Sir Oswald Mosley, 4th Baronet (duplicated link)
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 14:48, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- One of the memorials in the churchyard, to George Ridgway – does he have more than one memorial?
- Good point, reworded - Dumelow (talk) 14:48, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- Boys – is redundant, as mixed grammar schools are a modern idea.
- Removed - Dumelow (talk) 14:48, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- Comma after gaining entrance, and after Lichfield.
- Done - Dumelow (talk) 14:48, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
6 Gallery
- Galleries are frowned upon in articles like this (see WP:GALLERY). If the images in the gallery serve a useful purpose in illustrating the text, they should appear nearer the relevant text, not in a separate gallery, perhaps with the use of Template:Multiple image.
- I've removed it and moved them to appropriate section - Dumelow (talk) 14:36, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
7 References
- Ref 1 (Diocese of Lichfield) is a dead link.
- replaced with current version - Dumelow (talk) 08:01, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- The category '13th-century church buildings in England' doesn’t match with information in the lead section.
- Switched to the 12th-century cat - Dumelow (talk) 07:51, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- Ref 3 (British Listed Buildings) appears to be a self-published source, and therefore is not reliable. You need to find (an)other source(s) to replace it.
- Yes, not sure why I used it instead of the actual list entry, possibly there was an error on the HE site at the tiem. Now switched - Dumelow (talk) 07:39, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- Ref 5 (Bemrose) does not provide enough information for me to be able to verify the text, and I had to do my own search. The full citation is
-
- Thankyou, replaced - Dumelow (talk) 08:01, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
Other
- The category 13th-century church buildings in England doesn’t match with information in the lead section.
- Changed to 12th-century cat - Dumelow (talk) 07:40, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- There is nothing about the present use of the building, available from here.
- I've added a bit about current prayer practice - Dumelow (talk) 14:59, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
On hold
I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 27 November to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 13:24, 12 November 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks for reviewing Amitchell125. I've managed to find a reasonably priced copy of the 2007 volume of the Victoria County History for this area which I am hoping will fill in a few gaps. If you don't mind waiting until I receive that and add a little more to the article? I'll address the comments that I can in the meantime - Dumelow (talk) 08:24, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks for letting me know, I've added a week, please let me know when you've completed all you want to do. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 08:31, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- Hi Amitchell125, thankyou for your patience. I think I've addressed everything above (let me know if not) but I've also added quite a bit from the new source so would appreciate a check over of that content also. Many thanks - Dumelow (talk) 15:00, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- @Dumelow: I'll take a look, many thanks for all your work. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:13, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
Passing
Everything looks fine, it's an elegant little article to read. Passing now, congratulations. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:40, 17 November 2022 (UTC)