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Reviewer: Midnightblueowl (talk · contribs) 14:02, 21 April 2013 (UTC) I'll give this one a go. It might take me a while, as it's a long and very significant article, but I shall get it accomplished over the next few days. Midnightblueowl (talk) 14:02, 21 April 2013 (UTC)
Rate | Attribute | Review Comment |
---|---|---|
1. Well-written: | ||
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. | The prose is generally of a good standard, although in certain instances could certainly be improved. For example, in the “Etymology of names” section, it states “based on the Latin Iesus, of the Greek Ἰησοῦς (Iēsoûs), itself a hellenization of the Aramaic/Hebrew ישוע (Yēšûă‘) which is a post-Exilic modification of the Hebrew יְהוֹשֻׁעַ (Yĕhōšuă‘, Joshua) under influence from Aramaic.” This could certainly be clarified, making it easier for the average reader who perhaps does not know what Aramaic or Hebrew are; it doesn't mean dumbing down the content, but rephrasing it in a clearer manner. In other instances, there is punctuation missing, such as the full stop that should be found in “"Yahweh is salvation"[25] The name”. Such issues exist throughout the text, for instance, in the “New Testament” section, a sentence starts with “And Acts 1:1–11 says...”, which is something generally frowned upon in English prose. Avoid statements such as “as discussed below” and “i,e,” or “e.g.”. There are also some instances where the text could be condensed without losing any meaning, such as “On one extreme, some Christian scholars maintain that the gospels are inerrant descriptions of the life of Jesus. On the other extreme, some scholars have concluded that the gospels provide no historical information about Jesus' life.” This could easily be edited down into a single sentence. Generally, this could do with a copy edit for clarity; if requested, I am willing to carry this out. | |
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. | The last paragraph of the introduction has two consecutive sentences starting with “In Islam...”; generally I think that the introduction could be clarified. For instance, it mentions the New Testament, but doesn't explain the relevance of those texts to Jesus' life. Do we need to include the views of Judaism on Jesus in the introduction ? Is it relevant enough ? Many of the paragraphs are very short, some only a sentence long; perhaps consider connecting some of them together ? | |
2. Verifiable with no original research: | ||
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. | The text is fully referenced, but a variety of different forms of reference are used; these should all be standardised, ideally in the Harvard system which is already widely employed here. In some instances the references are bunched into a single citation; in others they are kept separate. These should also be standardised (ideally, in my opinion, to the former). "Referring to the theories of non-existence of Jesus, Richard A. Burridge states: "I have to say that I do not know any respectable critical scholar who says that any more."" is not referenced. | |
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). | ||
2c. it contains no original research. | ||
3. Broad in its coverage: | ||
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. | ||
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). | Generally speaking yes, but the Chronology section seems a bit lengthy; perhaps create a separate page, titled "Chronology of Jesus", into which all the specific data can be assembled, allowing this section to be cut down to a broad summary. | |
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. | ||
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. | There still seems to be quite a bit of discontent on the talk page, but so long as it doesn't spill onto the article, this article should be suitable for Good Article status. | |
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio: | ||
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. | ||
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. | In some instances, the images clog up and lengthen the article without really adding anything of value; namely the eight images reflecting the nativity, baptism etc. Sure they show us what later Christians (or at least people living in a Christian society) have thought about Jesus, but what do they really tell the reader about Jesus himself ? | |
7. Overall assessment. | Okay, I'm happy to pass this now. Best, Midnightblueowl (talk) 18:13, 5 May 2013 (UTC) |
Okay, I'm fairly happy to see this appointed to GA, although am waiting for a second reviewer to have a look too. Midnightblueowl (talk) 16:07, 23 April 2013 (UTC)
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