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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 18:16, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
I'll get to this shortly--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:16, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
- Thank you for your comprehensive and thorough review. I hope I addressed all problems. Please let me know if any further action is needed. I highly appreciat your assistance. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)
- Royal and noble titles are capitalized, so King of Cyprus, etc.
- the Kingdom of Jerusalem according to most barons of the realm, because of the death of Sibylla and their two daughters awkward
- The new king of Jerusalem, Henry II of Champagne, arrested him for a short period. Clarify if this is Aimery or Guy
- You've got duplicate links that need to be removed
- became the member "a" member?
- writes, Aimery's change the comma to "that"
- Aimery
fell into captivity passive voice, "was captured"
- French crusaders
demanded him to launch "who demanded that he launch"
- An Egyptian emir seized a fortress near Sidon and made plundering raids against the neighboring territory. After Al-Adil failed to stop the emir, Aimery's fleet captured 20 Egyptian ships and he
broke into "invaded" Al-Adil's realm. Awkward and when did this happen?
- The lawyers of the Kingdom of Jerusalem especially held him in high esteem.[69] He decided to revise the laws of the Kingdom of Jerusalem to specify royal prerogatives. Combine these two sentences--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:48, 6 February 2021 (UTC)
- Alternative solution. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)